Recently I read a book entitled “Lady In Waiting” by Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones. It’s disgraceful, misogynistic (yes, misogynistic) and completely ignorant. It just shows how ignorant, callous and limited you are if you don’t understand how intricately physical intimacy is linked to love and emotion for people like us. When love is there, marriage will come, and then my best friend and I will consummate our love together. Men have tried to sweep me off my feet before and failed at it. I am not going to fall head over heels in love because I know what real love is – it is something that builds slowly, after trust and friendship. We don’t reach adulthood with our virginity intact because we lack self-control! The best thing this particular life experience has given me is that I truly am immune to peer pressure – like Katherine – and I absolutely cannot be manipulated. Yes, it really is that easy to guard your heart. I also think I’m a better feminist than the self-proclaimed “feminists” who believe there is only one way for a woman to be empowered.Īnd I haven’t had my heart broken despite being fond of guys I’ve dated – know why? Because giving them my body and giving them my heart are two linked actions. I’m a 24-year old virgin, waiting till marriage, and yes I am proud about it. I like how slut-shaming is a bad thing in our society, but virgin-shaming is totally appropriate! Thank God someone replied to the virgin-shamers above. Believe it or not, I enjoy masturbation, porn, and the occasional dirty joke. Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean I blush at the thought of sex or wear white on a daily basis. You can be sexual without having partner sex (and suffering all its inherent risks).Being a virgin gives me the objective, outsider perspective on sex and relationships, which is invaluable when it comes to helping friends sort out their personal issues.I haven’t placed myself in a position of emotional risk by having sex with a man I might not realize doesn’t actually care for me. She enjoys having bragging rights about her “virginal daughter,” and never fails to bring it up with family and friends. It makes my mom happy and helps keep the peace between us.By this point, I’m pretty much immune to any potential sexual peer pressure, and won’t easily give into doing anything I’m uncomfortable with.From what I’ve gathered, college sex is not the most satisfying - with women’s orgasms and even pleasure not high on the list of many a male co-ed.I can still imagine my first time being a mind-blowing sexual encounter (replete with orgasms and possibly even female ejaculation) rather than knowing it was a disappointment (like many of my non-virgin friends).I don’t shoot up and I’m not worried about blood transfusions, so gonorrhea, chlamydia, HPV, AIDS, etc, have nothing over me.Living without the fear of becoming pregnant from my choices is extremely liberating. If my period skips a month, it’s a cause for celebration, not despair.Our contributor Katherine Chen, once an English major at Princeton University (check out her personal site here), penned a series of confessions for collectively called “ The Virgin Diaries.” Here’s her eighth installment.
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